heavy head

My head and heart

feel heavy

and I feel sad

and scared

about the passage of time

and for a moment

I missed my mom very intensely

and I missed being a child very intensely

time gives me nightmares

vague nightmares

where something terrifying and

irreversible has happened

The feeling is the same as the one I get

when I am

for a moment

suddenly aware that there is a beginning

and an end

and I can only struggle to control

some part in the middle