You make me want to smash your skull carefully or at least hold it firmly between my hands. It is the opposite of feeling like a gray cotton cloud being torn open by skyscrapers. Rain pouring out like tears, running down the silver red reflections of the sky on the windows of the buildings.
I don't know anymore. just keep typing I guess until you memorize where the keys are and never make any mistakes. never make any mistakes. if you do it would be really bad. REALLY BAD.
I thought I was actually feeling sad but I cried for less than a minute and then I felt pathetic and then back to normal again.
sadfdasasdfasdfasdfadfasdfasdfasdfsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad sad sad sadsadsad sadsad
sadsad sadsad sad sad sad sadsadsad sadsadsad sadsa
I feel like a piece of garbage, covered in dog piss and vomit and hobo piss and stepped on and worthless. Absolutely fucking worthless. The worst part is, I don't even feel like that. Maybe if I felt like a piece of trash I could stop caring and just relax because my life is pointless and stupid but not dull or uninteresting.
And my mind goes blank. I clench my hand into a fist and nervously pick at the skin next to my thumbnail.
I should do something but I just look with my eyes, left and then right. In a full circle. Then forward again and I frown and gently rub my front teeth together. I'm not sure if you've been watching me, but as I do this, I feel like I'm on a string,
or following some hypnotist's commands
for what I should do in response to another person being so close to me.
I am a terrible person sometimes but I know you'll forgive me for it.
And I look into your eyes to search for the answers.