I find no joy
in hearing you recount last night's events
It's not awesome
no part of me feels good
I want to sleep all day but I don't think I can manage that.
I don't want anyone to know me ever.
I am not seeking anyone's company.
My mind still returns to you.
Your name. Your name. It's always there in my thoughts.
but if we were together
I would mostly want to evaporate. Yeah, like that, I like that.
You could ask me questions and I'll answer every single one
with I don't know.
I always did that when I was a kid and my parents would get angry.
And when I had to see a therapist I did that too.
Then I realized what answers would get me out of her office
so I began using those instead. I have since broken that habit.
But mostly I just say I don't know.