Saturday, January 22, 2011

I'm restless today

I find no joy
in hearing you recount last night's events

It's not awesome
no part of me feels good
I want to sleep all day but I don't think I can manage that.

I don't want anyone to know me ever.

I am not seeking anyone's company.
My mind still returns to you.
Your name. Your name. It's always there in my thoughts.
but if we were together
I would mostly want to evaporate. Yeah, like that, I like that.
You could ask me questions and I'll answer every single one
with I don't know.

I always did that when I was a kid and my parents would get angry.
And when I had to see a therapist I did that too.
Then I realized what answers would get me out of her office
so I began using those instead. I have since broken that habit.
But mostly I just say I don't know.

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