something beautiful

today

i want to strangle something

beautiful and small

and watch

the horror on people's faces grow

until it distorts their features

grotesque and unlovable

they will call out to me

then i will make something beautiful

and watch as they tear it down

and me with it

and i will feel better

about myself

and life in general

because then i will know

what we are all capable of

online events

have led me to believe

that many people

will understand you
but i will

always be alone

or among

tolerable individuals

continuing to misinterpret

my nervous smile

for benevolence

stay in bed

im making brownies with a nonchalant expression

while i watch an imaginary TV

and in the distance

three people cross the street.

one falls down and the the other two stop and look.

the one doesnt get up so the other two continue

the one gets run over by a car but no one cares

cause they are curious about my nonchalant face and the smell of brownies

-blah